sell and buy a radish. From Dennis Pallis in Kent: Hymie tells Moishe his wife Becky must be dead. "Why should you say such a thing?" asks Moishe. Hymie replies: "Well, the sex is the same. But the ironing's piling up." Michael's missives "I'm an

just no atmosphere." From Dennis Pallis, of Kent. Hymie goes into Victoria's Secret to purchase a negligee for his wife, Becky. He's shown various negligees; the more sheer they are, the higher the price. Hymie opts for the sheerest and pays

exotic pole-dancing lessons? Dennis Pallis, Kent Married life must be suiting you.You look almost handsome in recent photos - or is it Hymie putting in a long-awaited appearance? Roger Hayman-Start, Surrey At a Montreal restaurant, irate customer

will have to call security. Dennis Pallis, Kent You admiringly described the twice-baked goat's cheese souffle at the Goring. What a contrast with the half-baked old goat in the photograph. Ian Lineker, Worcestershire My goodness, Michael, in last

to intrude upon proceedings. Dennis Pallis, Kent Were it not for the ever-lovely Geraldine, your pictures would be most depressing. Move to Hexham. Apart from the benefits of life in Northumberland, you'll find a better grade of charity shop from

for buy one, get one free. Dennis Pallis, Kent For 50 years I've stayed in Venice at the Excelsior, but it's been slipping. I'm back next weekend and will report on it and the Cipriani. It could be that, like the city, the hotels in Venice are

over incorrigibility. Dennis Pallis, Kent It was a bit off that you said last week that the still water at the Amaranto restaurant tasted a touch like your uncle Harry, who passed on 10 years ago. Even worse taste was to feature him in the